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If you didn't have a shoddy ma like Dodge, or your old man didn't work in the chip shop like Daz and Skinny's, then getting out on a mid-winter evening took all of the cunning the Cows Gate Gang could assemble. Milky White of course was able to Hush young dog as he pleased in the dark, only he elected to stay inside doing his science homework or banging his triangle. Wormhole had to stay in the warm if there had been a mist, seemingly, because it rusted the metal plate in his head. There had been a collection box for him down at the chapel so that the Wormholes could send him to a private garage to have it galvanized. Then Daz asserted he saw Milky two times coming back home from the library in the dark at 6.30. -What, I claimed. With books ? -Nah, wiv an 'orse under 'is arms -Nay boy, I revealed, just like Milky would've. -Yeah, Daz asserted. 'F your old lady will not let you out to play, then join the library. Then, right, just say you 'ave to take 'em back or Ena Sharples'll fine yer. It was alright for Daz. His ma sent him up the chipshop each night to bring their dinners and skinny went to help him carry it. Dodge was out ferretting with his dad or doing rag & bone. But me, I was a caged under the we-want-you-where-we-can-see-you principle. Dark is dark, and in the dark boys get up to mullarky. So I joined the library, and the cage door opened one night a week. The issue was what to do with the books. Obviously we could not read them. Ena Sharples didn't expect me to either. -You ! She revealed when I walked in. This is not the chip shop, Cedric. It is a public library. The library was in the old fire station so it was only as sizeable as a town fire-engine. Ena Sharples was at a desk in the middle where once there'd have been a pool of oil and sawdust. Right place for her too, face like that. Her James was at the grammar college so she looked at me like the firemens' pole was still stuck up her nose. -I do not really want to find jam sandwiches squashed inside the pages when you bring these back Daz was waiting outside. -Well, you were given me one ? -Yeah yep, I got us one each. -That one's no good, yer cory ! -I'm gonna look at that one. It's Jack Hargreaves. 'S got fishin' pictures in it. The other two's foryou know what. We got to the pinnacle of the concrete slope. I handed Daz his book, the second largest in the library, a good 2ft square : Ships of the Earth. Mine was much bigger : Greeks and Trojans. Conditions were good. A light frost on the nobbly concrete, a chill mist muffling the streetlamps. We put the books on the ground, spine forwards and sat on them, tucking our fingers under the flaps. The first couple of yards we were like dogs with itchy bums, scooting ourselves with our heels until we hit the frost and down we went on our bobsleigh books, grinding to a halt on the pavement grit at the bottom, bobble hats contorted. We were making our way back up the slope for a second run when Milky White came out of his backdoor and started making his way up the cinder trail. -'E prob'ly saw us, I claimed. Would not put it past 'im to split on us to Ena. -Let him, Daz recounted, always the realist. She'll find out anyhow, the state of this book. He held up his Ships of the world. Looked like Shipwrecks of the Earth now, great big graze down to the bare card beneath. I was thinking I had two weeks to mend it with, I don't know, some paint, or I could stick on another picture, when this voice came down the drainpipe. Well, it came from above, the open window of the closest house, Milky's neighbour : -You're in trouble now Flower Petal. Daz was fast, gabbed at the velocity of sound Daz did : -You're mouth's so huge Muttley, I am stunned you can also get in your bedroom. It was Muttley Murphey. And wherever Muttley was, Toothpaste Gibbs was bound to be. Sure enough, she opened wide : - We'll see 'ow huge your mouth is when we tell Ena Sharples you are sledgin' on 'er library books. I am not sure what it was about those two, but wherever the Cow's Gate Gang went, Toothpaste & Muttley appeared to be already there. What were they doing? They were never playing girls games, just gnawing on the spot, leaning against walls and staring. Now and then they came out with bits of song simply to mock the gang, then they'd crack up laughing. Toothpaste once had all of the boys on bikes in the hamlet follow her as she probably did a ride thru in blue eye shade and her mum's gold earrings. Her long black hair was always stuck in her eyes and on the greasy side. She wore long cardigans down to her knees and called all boys "buster". We never admitted it, but we would have all been crazy about her if it were not for Muttley. Muttley was her inseperable "gaurd dog", tall and lankey with six bros. Muttley wore her hair in a bun like her mummy and her great loose dungarees made her look like her old man. She believed she was special simply because she lived next door to Milky White, but he called them the Steptoes, and Muttley the Nag. We couldn't get near them for lip, and they both ran like the clappers anyhow. Just then, Milky appears at the end of his path with a duffle bag his mum had embroidered library books on. -Look at 'im, Daz said. Taking his books up the laundrette first. -The Whites've got a washing machine, Muttley expounded. I can see your mum aint whether or not yer name is a packet o' soap powder. -What's which make 'im then, White Spirit ? I announced thumbing at Milky who was passing under the streetlamp like the only boy in the world. -I'll tell you two what that makes 'im And that is's when she dropped her bombshell. I'll let you know what she announced in Episode eight, coming soon to under a streetlamp near you.
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